Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories: Improved Cucumber Martinis

One of the finest cocktails that we have ever come across is the cucumber martini, a cocktail which-- correctly executed --can be a bracingly refreshing blast of intense cucumber flavor, highlighting what is perhaps an under-appreciated member of the melon family.

Unfortunately, cucumber martinis often fail to live up to their potential, ending up as watery infusions that might be mistaken for scented mineral water. And that's an injustice.

To set the record straight, here is how to make your own thoroughly-awesome cucumber martini. To go one step further, we present three distinct variations: the Sweet Vodka Cucumber Martini, the gin-based Savory Cucumber Martini, and the non-alcoholic Cucumber Fizzy.

As these are martinis, you'll need a cocktail shaker, martini glasses, and ice. You'll also need a food processor (or a good chef's knife and skill with it) and a length of cheesecloth for straining the cucumbers.

(Need cheesecloth? We've found this one to be satisfactory with a reasonably dense weave, making it stronger than many others.)

Rather than using an infused alcohol, this set of recipes uses juice from the non-watery part of the cucumber itself. That leads to a more intense, natural flavor, and also permits a virgin fork of our cocktail.

For 1-2 cocktails, begin with 2-3 small cucumbers, preferably persian or japanese. Peel them if the skins are waxed.

Chop the cucumbers very finely-- a food processor is nice for this bit. Cut the halves into sticks and feed them through the slicer before switching to the chopping blade. The bits should be slightly smaller than those in pickle relish, but do not go so far as to puree them.

Gather the finely chopped cucumber into a double layer of cheesecloth and squeeze the juice out into a bowl or measuring cup. Twist the top of the cheesecloth to tighten even further.

When it seems mostly dry, untwist a bit and fluff the pulp in the cheesecloth around and then squeeze some more to get as much juice out as possible. The remaining cucumber pulp should be dry to the touch, when you are done. (Save the pulp for the bonus recipe below.)

2-3 small cucumbers typically yield about 4 oz of intense cucumber juice, using this process.

Bonus recipe: Quick Tzatziki--Because, you've already done the hard part!

Reconstitute the leftover cucumber pulp with lemon juice. Mix with a twice-as-large volume of strained ("Greek") yogurt. Crush in one small clove of garlic per 2 cucumbers used. Add more garlic, mint, dill, and black pepper to taste. Garnish with olive oil.

For the sweet cocktails, we use simple syrup rather than sugar directly. To prepare, mix 1/4 cup sugar into 1/4 cup hot water, stir until dissolved, and allow to cool. (Hot water from the tap is normally hot enough to dissolve sugar in these proportions.)

Combine ingredients with ice in a cocktail shaker, strain, and serve in a martini glass, optionally rimmed with sugar. Suggested garnish: ultra-thin cucumber slices.

Combine ingredients with ice in a cocktail shaker, strain, and serve in a martini glass. Suggested garnish: a skewer of olive-sized cucumber chunks.

This is a simple recipe, but a delicate balance; take care to measure. With a factor of two in proportions either way, either the cucumber does not shine through, or the flavors in the gin do not. Similarly, we found the slightest bit of lemon or sugar to throw off the balance.

Combine ingredients with ice in a cocktail shaker, strain, and serve in a sugar-rimmed martini glass. Suggested garnish: thin cucumber slices.

Improved Cucumber Martinis

Wednesday, December 28 2011 @ 06:40 AM PST