Quips, Quirks and Quarks

In the mid 1990’s, many things were considered socially acceptable that no longer are. Among these are jokes about Lorena Bobbitt and/or Tonya Harding, anything having to do with Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and internet humor mailing lists. I am guilty of the latter: From 1994 to 1997 I ran a daily humor mailing list called Quips, Quirks & Quarks, or more commonly QQQ.

The archives of QQQ are on one of my “old” web pages, where you can peruse this vast nearly-organized trove of treasure and trash. The quality of the material varies greatly, and the presentation is an excellent example of web 1.0 (or maybe 0.8 beta) design ethic.

Here are some samples from the collection:

  • From the collection of Quips (the jokes):
    • My wife is very immature– Just tell me if this doesn’t sound immature.
      She’ll barge right into the bathroom when I’m in the tub and sink all
      of my boats!
    • “Doctor, is it really true that eating carrots improves ones eyesight?”
      “Of course. Have you ever seen rabbits wearing glasses?”
  • From the collection of Quirks (the weird):
    • Hi-Tech Haiku:
      the sand remembers
      once there was beach and sunshine
      but chip is warm too
    • roses are red
      violets are blue
      some poems rhyme
      and some don’t


  • From the collection of Quarks (the nerdy):
    • Q: What do you do with 56 dead protons?
      A: Barium.
    • Q: Why won’t feminists use Unix?
      A: There aren’t any woman pages.


  • From the collection of One liners:
    • Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
    • Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.