Tag Archives: humor

Evil Mad Scientist Valentines: 2016 Edition

2016 valentines

Today we are releasing our newest set of “Download and Print” cards for Valentine’s day. This is our fourth year, and fourth set of cards: The 2013 set had six equation-heavy cards, the 2014 set was a set of six symbol-heavy cards, and the 2015 set included love, hearts, and arrows.

This year’s set of six new cards features a note about warming Pluto’s cold heart, at least one embarrassingly bad pun, and the perfect card for your robotic expression of love.

Solve for x
“I was supposed to solve for x. So glad I found u instead.”

Pluto heart

And, from the distant reaches of our solar system:
“Just knowing you’re out there warms my heart.”


2016 valentines

You can download the full set here, which includes all 24 designs from all four years (a 1 MB PDF document).

As usual, print them out on (or otherwise affix to) card stock, personalize, and [some steps omitted] enjoy the resulting lifelong romance.

Update: New cards have been released! Please check out the 2018 set, which contains all 36 cards from 2013 through 2018.

Evil Mad Scientist Valentines, 2014 Edition

Lo Res Valentines

Last year we released a set of six equation-heavy “Download and Print” cards for Valentine’s day.  This year, we’re doubling the size of the collection (to twelve!) by adding six more cards, this time heavy in symbols, not equations:


You turn me on” …with an SPST switch.


I can hardly resist you.

There is room for a future superconductivity joke here, involving a phrase like “I can’t resist you (below a certain temperature).


You can download the full set — including the 2013 cards — here, a 500 kB pdf document.

As with last year’s set, print them out on (or otherwise affix to) card stock, and [some steps omitted] enjoy the resulting lifelong romance.

Update: New cards have been released! Please check out the 2018 set, which contains all 36 cards from 2013 through 2018.

HP Sauce

HP Sauce - 2

HP Sauce - 1

HP Sauce - 4

HP Sauce - 5

There. Fixed that for you.

HP Sauce is a popular condiment in the UK and Canada, though now made by Heinz (yes, that Heinz) in the Netherlands.

It says you can use it on pretty much anything– not sure that my printer will taste that much better with sauce on it, though.

(Almost) Live From Mars

The Mars Phoenix Lander will finally land on Mars today.

In a bizarre and surreal (and quite brilliant) approach to reporting the news, the lander apparently has a Twitter feed… in the first person! Get this: “I’ve entered the gravity well of Mars.” Whoever came up with this idea, I salute in your general direction.

Also… GO EARTH!!! Today is our first chance after 43 years to finally bring this game to a tie.

(GO EARTH!!! Rah Rah Rah!)

Update: Score! Looks like a tie!

Non-Megnatic Tweezers

Non-megnaticOn our recent trip to the Electronics Flea Market we got a very nice pair of tweezers. There are tons of great cheap tools at the flea market, and these are no exception. Superfine tips and a nice black coating were a couple of the features that drew us to this particular pair. However, there was one characteristic that we could not resist: they are beautifully labeled “Non-Megnatic.” Seeing this enigmatic label gives me joy every time I use them. Feel free to post in the comments what you think the fantastic word “Megnatic” ought to mean.

Sorry, we’re open!

Sorry, We're Open

We used to live in Austin, Texas, and welcomed the Austin Maker Faire this past October as an excuse to go back and visit. We had a great time at the fair, where our high tech pumpkins (especially the snapping pumpkins) garnered several editor’s choice ribbons.

It was really fun to be back in Austin and remember what we loved so much. One of the things we really miss is the food. I took the picture above of the beautiful neon sign at Magnolia, one of the best of restaurants. Not only do they serve really good food, but they’re open 24/8. The distinct lack of independent 24 hour restaurants in silicon valley is somewhat depressing, but we’re glad to see that the culture is still thriving in Austin, where Magnolia has opened a second branch.

Of course, we inevitably also were reminded of what we don’t love so much. You know how they say that everything is bigger in Texas? Well, it’s true about the bugs.

Ask.com search suggestion contest: Winners

Two weeks ago, after observing the bizarre search suggestions that ask.com gives for searches, we launched a little contest (which we have run a little late in posting the results of). Here are the results in our several categories:


Winner:how do i go“, which ask.com helpfully expands into (among other variations), “how do i google someone.” Submitted by Josh Gurian.

Honorable mentions:
Does anyone actually use ask.com?
Where is jeeves? What have you done with him?
How to style your lack of hair


Winner: Evidence that people are looking for stuff that hasn’t been invented yet. (Hint: it isn’t on the net.) Submitted by flickr user samaritan.

Honorable mentions:
Did you fire Jeeves?
The question “Should a” produces some interesting ethical issues.
The simple query “when can” produces some insight into how obsessed ask.com (or perhaps its users) are with pregnancy.
Well, maybe pregnancy and international cuisine.


This was the hardest category. There were too many to choose from. The depressing entries struck various notes depression because very unhappy people are querying the search engine, but also because of the terrible grammar issues, and genuinely scary things that one would hope no one ever searches for– both self-destructive and frighteningly ill-informed.

The idea of choosing a “winner” for questions like these is rather stomach turning– but labeling them losers won’t help either.

Why don’t i have any friends?, Submitted by flickr user samaritan.

Honorable mentions:
When will the” (insert terrible thing) happen?
How dumb am i?
Why does everyone lie to me?


Winner: The Most winningest, naturally. Submitted by flickr user dennisw.

Honorable mentions:
loose my belly
I hat you.. (It’s both brilliant and inexplicable.)


Winner: The winner makes you wonder how they type the queries. Submitted by flickr user predatormc.

Honorable mentions:
How to kill a mockingbird
Can babies breathe underwater?
This one borders on scary, but the thing about sheep puts it in the funny category.
Finally, two good entries from the Stupid question department: First entry, Second entry

Congratulations to our winners!